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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A love letter .... (Before the monster)

  From Dylan Klebold's diary:

 "You don't consciously know who I am, & doubtedly unconsciously too. I, who write this, love you beyond infinice. I think about you all the time, how this world would be a better place If you loved me as I do you. I know what you're thinking: "(some psycho wrote me this harassing letter)" I hoped we could have been together... you seem a lot like me. 

Pensive, quiet, an observer, not wanting what is offered here (school, life, etc.) You almost seem lonely, like me. You probably have a boyfriend, though, & might have not given this note another thought. I have thought you my true love for a long time now, but... well... there was hesitation. You see I can't tell if you think of anyone as I do you, & if you did who that would be. Fate put me in need of you, yet this Earth blocked that with uncertainties. I will go away soon, but I just had to write this to you, the the one I truly loved. Please, for my sake, dont tell anyone about this, as it was only meant for you. Also, please don't feel any guilt about my soon-to-be "absense" of this world. [arrow points to a note in the margin that reads: "It is solely my decision: nobody else's."] Oh... the the thoughts of w us... doing everything together, not necessarily anything, just to be together would have been pure heaven heaven. 

I guess it's Time time to tell you who I am. I was in a class with you 1st semester, & was blessed w. being with you in a report. I still remember your laugh. Innocent, beautiful, pure. This semester I still see you rarely. I am entranced during 5th period, as we both have it off. To most people, I appear.. well... almost scary, but that's who I appear to be as people are afraid of what they don't understand. I denied who I was for a long time. until high school...

Anyway, you have noticed me a few times, I catch every one of these gazes w. an open heart. I think you know who I am by now. Unfortunately... you even if you did like me even the slightest bit, you would hate hate me if you knew who I was. I am a criminal, I have done things that almost nobody would even think about condoning. The reas reason that I'm writing you now is that I have been caught for the crimes I comitted, & I went want to go to a new existence. You know what I mean. (Suicide) I have have nothing to live for, & I won't be able to survive in this world after this legal convictionHowever However, if it was true that you loved me as I do you,... I would find a way to survive. Anything to be with you. [arrow points to margin where Dylan writes: I would enjoy life knowing that you loved me.] 99/100 chances you prob. 
think I'm crazy, & want to stay as far away as possible. 

If that's the case, then I'm very sorry for involving an innocent person in my problems, & please don't think twice. However, If you are are who I hoped for in my dreams dreams & realities realities, then do me this a favor: Leave Leave a piece of paper in my locker, [arrow to margin note reading: "Locker #837 -- combo=19-37-9 --near the library"] saying anything that comes to you. Well, I guees guess this is it-- goodbye & I love(d) you."

This letter was written by Dylan Klebold, one of the killers of the famous Columbine Massacre.
You might be asking yourself..."why? why posting this?" well, many people just see the monsters that they became when they did what they did (taking innocent lives) , but there's a few who think about them as what they were before:

-Bullied kids
-Lonely kids
-Just High school Kids

No one really asks or wonder about what happened to them?, who hurt them so much that they went so mad and got detached from the world , the feelings? They didn't want to feel anymore. Who or what did that?

Either way, this letter is from Dylan's diary ... he did love, he did feel, he wanted happiness, and warmth , and love and be loved in return. This was a real person, with such deep feelings... it hurts to see that someone who think and feels this (sweet) way... was ruined by life, by time, by things we can't control, by people who doesn't care about others. For me, it's worth remembering him, as what he was before. He is the kid that is in your high school, here, there, everywhere.... If you see someone who need help, who needs someone to listen, someone who cares, don't hesitate and help. Don't let this happen to another kid...don't let the hate in them grow, don't let a person die inside. You can save someone with a few simple words like:

"Hello, how are you?"


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