When we were kids we used to wish to grow up fast so we could become: doctors, superheroines, singers, princesses and more! We used to change our minds every day, every time we saw something new and marvelous! I wish someone would have said to me to pick only one thing from all the things I loved and dedicate my whole life to it, so I would be an expert at that one thing.
I really envy singers and actors who are always saying on interviews “I grabbed a microphone for the first time/I acted for the first time in a high school play and I fell in loved with it!!! I knew that I wanted to do it for the rest of my life!” I wish I would have felt the same about only one thing amongst the different things I like to do.
I feel lost, I feel out of place, I want to do many things but I don’t know where to start. I need many things but I don’t know where to get them or how. I am still figuring out how to live in this world and how to deal with people.
I met people who look like they are satisfied with their lives and they go (apparently) smoothly into the next chapter of the human life cycle : high school, University, Job, Wedding, kids, etc. I am not satisfied with a “normal” life, I need something that makes my heart beat and that makes me feel thankful to be alive. The problem to be alive is … that you need to have either a passion or a good plan to survive.
When I was a little kid, before blowing my birthday candles, I used to wish to be happy…just that. I guess I should have been more specific about one thing in particular.