Mauvaise Foi: Sartre, Freedom, Fear & the Courage to Start Over

"Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." -Jean-Paul Sartre

 

Making mistakes is also part of the journey. Every decision, even those that seem like mistakes, teaches us something about who we are and where we want to go. Starting over is never truly starting from scratch; we carry with us what we have learned, the scars we have collected, and the experiences that brought us to where we are.

In the end, we all have a choice: to live a life designed around the expectations of others, or to build one that genuinely reflects who we are.

So, do we stay where we are or do we dare to start again?

I'm not talking about mediocrity, but about the comfort that comes from fear. This “comfort” isn't always conscious. Sometimes it simply feels like security, familiarity, or the certainty of knowing what comes next.

The fear of moving

-The false security of staying where one no longer grows.

I firmly believe that staying where one no longer belongs is a phase, which can become dangerous and endless.

Most of us probably go through this phase; for some it lasts a few weeks, maybe months, but it becomes dangerous when it stretches into years.

Many people live in what I now think of as a state of existential passivity. I used to describe it simply as "living without awareness," but philosophy and psychology offer more precise language for this condition.

Philosophical and Psychological Concepts

1. Bad faith (Jean-Paul Sartre): The existentialist philosopher used this term to describe the act of self-deception to escape freedom. The person pretends they have no options ("I have no choice," "I must do this") to avoid the anguish and responsibility of choosing their own path. A psychological state that can develop after repeated experiences of powerlessness. Eventually, the person believes that nothing they do will make a difference, so they stop trying ... even when change becomes possible.
2. External locus of control: Psychologists such as Julian Rotter define this as the belief that external forces (luck, fate, society, or family) determine everything that happens, thereby eliminating the notion of personal agency.
3. The impersonal "Self" (Martin Heidegger): Heidegger described inauthentic existence as living under the dictates of "what is said" or "what is done." The person doesn't choose for themselves but lets the masses choose for them.

All these definitions have something in common: the self-deception or self-convincing that we have no control over anything. Once our mind "awakens," it wants to change, and we realize that we do have some control; we want to start over.

The phases of becoming responsible and aware of our lives

Now, this is the hardest part, but keep reading. We used to live deceived, but now we're awake. Now the challenges and doubts begin, and many voices in our minds will try to make us stop taking responsibility for our choices.These are the phases you will go through: 

1. Conformity

You want to change your mind, your life, your world. It all sounds very broad, very difficult, and you don't know where to start. After mentally torturing yourself, you tell yourself it's easier to leave things as they are. What's good about changing? Why did you even think about it? Then the same thing happens, but in reverse: your mind awakens to new possibilities and starts asking yourself why you can't live a different life.

2. Authenticity

You've lived for many years the way you are: you dress a certain way, you speak a certain way, you have certain friends, you go to certain places, etc.

When you decide to start over, you realize you've changed, sometimes drastically, sometimes only in certain aspects, and that to live differently, many things have changed or will change because it's the natural evolution of everything. It isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming a more complete version of yourself.

Once this starts happening, you might feel like a fraud. You think differently, you want to talk about different things and look different; you begin to doubt whether the change truly reflects who you are or if you're just disguising yourself as someone else.

Conversely, other people return to their original form, and this has the opposite effect; they feel stronger. It feels like an archaeologist uncovering a forgotten civilization. Piece by piece, what was buried begins to explain who we really are.

3. Failure

This phase comes after you've overcome the doubt about your new or renewed self. Why do you feel like you've failed? Because, as is natural for human beings, we want every change and result to be immediately apparent. When the change in your life doesn't happen, you feel like you've failed. Of course, this isn't the case. It takes time and work on yourself. The change is primarily in the mind.

4. Comparing Yourself to Others

Another hurdle in the process of your rebirth. Before, you didn't notice people who were more successful, happier, or healthier than you, but once your eyes are open, your mind creates an unnecessary comparison, and you can sabotage yourself.

5. The Perfect Moment

This is the part where we waste time; we are waiting for "the perfect moment" to start changing, but that perfect moment may or may not arrive if we let life take charge; we are the ones who decide when the perfect moment is to start, ready or not.

Mauvaise Foi -Bad Faith  (Jean-Paul Sartre)

What is "Bad Faith" 

According to Sartre, humans are condemned by their freedom. Why? Because we are forced to make choices every day of our lives, which means we are responsible for our lives. Let's face it, when we think about it, that level of responsibility can cause anyone to get anxious or sick. 

So what do we do to survive, to soften the blow of the realization?  We lie.

According to Sartre, we lie to ourselves. We pretend we are not 100% responsible for our actions; we are not responsible for the path our life has taken; we pretend we don't have options. To give you some examples:

1. That's the way I am ( my favorite one): Of course you can change, maybe not immediately or completely; you just don't want to) but you are avoiding the harder question:

"What if I could change?"

2. I can't leave him because I love him.: AKA Love removes my freedom. Love is real. Attachment is real. Leaving can be extraordinarily difficult. But Sartre would argue that even in those circumstances, we are still making a choice. Love influences us; it does not erase our freedom.

3. I don't have time for anything: I am not on my priority list; everyone else is, or I'm choosing to spend my time on other priorities.

Jean-Paul Sartre illustrates Mauvaise Foi with these examples

The Café Waiter

Sartre describes watching a waiter whose movements are a little too precise, a little too eager, a little too mechanical. The waiter is playing a role: he is turning himself into a "waiter-object." He acts as though his entire identity and essence are defined by his job description. He pretends that "waiter" is just a social role he chooses to perform, not what he inherently is.

The main point: People often confuse our job title, social role, or public persona with who we actually are. If we become mothers/fathers, we think we have to change; if we have a different social position, we don't socialize with others as we used to. We begin confusing the roles we play with who we actually are. 

The First Date

Sartre describes a woman on a date. Her companion takes her hand. She knows this signals a romantic move, but she doesn't want to make a choice (either to accept it or reject it). She leaves her hand in his and pretends not to notice, talking deeply about intellectual matters. She treats her hand as a passive piece of physical matter, a mere object, to avoid deciding what she wants.

The Takeaway: Passive indecision/ Refusing to decide is still a decision, a choice to deny your own agency. You are pretending you don't have power. You pretend you are helpless to this "opportunity in front of you." It happened; now you have to let it run its course. 

How does this affect us today?

• Social Media: Social media encourages us to become the authors, editors, marketers, and actors of our own identities. We carefully select photos, captions, opinions, and even personalities depending on the platform. LinkedIn asks for one version of us, Instagram another, TikTok another. None of these identities are necessarily false, but they can become performances we mistake for our authentic selves.
  
• Professional burnout: Staying in a miserable career because "it's the only option" is a classic example of hiding from our scary, real choices. We stay because telling ourselves "I have no choice" feels less frightening than admitting we do have one.
• Algorithm Culture: Recommendation algorithms don't make our decisions for us, but they can tempt us to outsource them. The more we let trends, influencers, and recommendation systems tell us what to watch, wear, believe, or pursue, the easier it becomes to avoid asking ourselves what we actually want.

Sure, we have been conditioned and grew up in an environment where people actually believe we don't have choices, we can't be responsible for our lives, but we are now conscious of it. We need to understand that we make everyday choices; sure, they are not easy, pretty, or comfortable, but who wouldn't like to be in control of their destiny?  Recognizing Mauvaise Foi in yourself isn't meant to cause guilt; it's an invitation to take the wheel back. The next time you catch yourself saying "I have to," try swapping it for "I am choosing to."

But as Sartre reminds us: The script is never finished, and you're the one holding the pen.

Sartre wasn't arguing that we control everything. We don't choose where we're born, our past, our genetics, or every circumstance we face. He called these realities our facticity. What we do choose is how we respond to them. Freedom doesn't mean unlimited possibilities; it means responsibility within the possibilities we actually have.