At One O'Clock In The Morning - by Charles Baudelaire and Me

Alone, at last! Not a sound to be heard but the rumbling of some belated and decrepit cabs. For a few hours

we shall have silence, if not repose. At last the tyranny of the human face has disappeared, and I myself shall be the

only cause of my sufferings.

At last, then, I am allowed to refresh myself in a bath of darkness! First of all, a double turn of the lock. It

seems to me that this twist of the key will increase my solitude and fortify the barricades which at this instant

separate me from the world.

Horrible life! Horrible town! Let us recapitulate the day: seen several men of letters, one of whom asked me

whether one could go to Russia by a land route (no doubt he took Russia to be an island); disputed generously with

the editor of a review, who, to each of my objections, replied: 'We represent the cause of decent people,' which

implies that all the other newspapers are edited by scoundrels; greeted some twenty persons, with fifteen of whom I

am not acquainted; distributed handshakes in the same proportion, and this without having taken the precaution of

buying gloves; to kill time, during a shower, went to see an acrobat, who asked me to design for her the costume of a

Venustra; paid court to the director of a theatre, who, while dismissing me, said to me: 'Perhaps you would do well to

apply to Z------; he is the clumsiest, the stupidest and the most celebrated of my authors; together with him, perhaps,

you would get somewhere. Go to see him, and after that we'll see;' boasted (why?) of several vile actions which I

have never committed, and faint-heartedly denied some other misdeeds which I accomplished with joy, an error of

bravado, an offence against human respect; refused a friend an easy service, and gave a written recommendation to a

perfect clown; oh, isn't that enough?

Discontented with everyone and discontented with myself, I would gladly redeem myself and elate myself a

little in the silence and solitude of night. Souls of those I have loved, souls of those I have sung, strengthen me,

support me, rid me of lies and the corrupting vapours of the world; and you, O Lord God, grant me the grace to

produce a few good verses, which shall prove to myself that I am not the lowest of men, that I am not inferior to

those whom I despise.

 

A fake gentleman's dissection (Pt. 2 of: That strange thing called chivalry.)

 To dissect a fake gentleman we should first talk about how he looks on the outside.

He is not a regular man, he is confident, good looking, he is fun, he have friends, he likes to have a good time, he likes music, he … wait! he can be anyone!

So ¿How can you know the difference between a real gentleman and a fake one?

-That strange thing called chivalry. Pt.1

There are some distinctive traits to look for:

• ·He treats you like a Queen BUT he treats everyone else like sh#t

The same story is repeated over and over again when women start dating. So many times have I heard: “He is so sweet, so good, he is so great with me, and he is perfect” He might be great to you but he is just a jerk to everyone else.

For example he invites you to dinner and everything its great! Until -he is rude to the waiter –he is just rude to strangers. 

This guy is the kind of person who only cares about himself ----aaaand you of course! but if you are not a human being who he has an interest in, forget about it! you are no one to him. A real gentleman will treat others with respect, including strangers, he will be chivalrous.

·         He can’t take his eyes off … other ladies

Aaaarg ! Just annoying!

I get it. Men are allowed to look at other pretty females (when we are not with them)on their viewing range as we girls appreciate a good looking guy but … the way (most) men look at women is just horrible, unacceptable and even sickening ! Especially if they are doing while holding the GF's hand!

If a guy looks at butts, boobs, and ¿did I mention butts? Like it was the first time he ever saw one of those and if that wasn’t bad enough he keeps looking even though the girl is 3 km away? NOT A GENTLEMAN.

If he do all the above while holding your hand: Definitely NOT A GENTLEMAN.

·         He has a foul mouth!

Is there anything more unattractive than a person who curses a lot?  I can't physically be with a person who swears every time he opens his mouth.

You are probably wondering how this has anything to do with differencing a real gentleman from a fake one. So, the first thing that comes to my mind is that he might be an aggressive person. It is one thing to talk to your buddies like that but to your girlfriend? No way. 

In the end is up to you if something like this is a big deal but in my book this is a big turn off.

·         He disrespect you

No matter how many roses he buys how many sweet things he does for you, no matter how good he gets along with your family and friends, if he ever disrespects you he is not a gentleman; he is just a common man, one more of the bunch.

1.         He criticizes everything you do.

2.         He makes fun of your beliefs.

3.         He doesn't listen to what you have to say.

4.         He flirts with other females.

5.         He insults you whenever you fight.

6.         He makes you promises that he never keeps.

7.         He is never on time and he doesn't answer the phone when you call.

8.         He is very mysterious about things that should not be a mystery.

9.         You always have to accommodate your time to his life schedule.

10.       You wait for him but he never has the patience to wait for you.

If he did one or more things on my list, then he is not for you. The same goes for the gents (women should respect you too).

If you liked this post then you might be interested in:

-Good manners and table etiquette

-That strange thing called chivalry. Pt.1

This Is What Fantasies Are Made Of: The Psychology Behind Our Deepest Desires

We’ve all heard the phrase "it’s just a fantasy." 

But have you ever wondered why certain themes

 recur so consistently across the human landscape? 

Far from being random, our collective daydreams often act as a mirror, 

reflecting our needs for power, surrender, and deep-seated connection.

The Allure of the "Power Play"

One of the most common themes in mainstream fantasy involves the shifting of power dynamics. In a world where we are constantly pressured to be "in control" of our careers, finances, and social lives, the idea of relinquishing that control—or taking it in a safe, consensual environment—is incredibly liberating.

• The Appeal: It provides a mental vacation from responsibility.

• The Reality: It’s less about the "act" and more about the psychological release of being cared for or being the one in charge.

The "Taboo" and the Thrill of the Forbidden

Human beings are naturally curious. When society places a "do not touch" sign on a concept, it instantly becomes a focal point for our imagination. This doesn't mean we actually want to break the rules in real life; rather, the mind enjoys the adrenaline rush of exploring boundaries within the safety of a thought.

The Role of "The Stranger" or Mystery

The popularity of "anonymity" or "roleplay" fantasies often stems from a desire to escape our own identities. For a few moments, you aren't a parent, an employee, or a neighbor—you are someone entirely different.

Expert Insight: Psychologists often suggest that fantasies aren't necessarily "blueprints" for what we want our daily lives to look like. Instead, they are "compensatory"—they give us the emotional flavors that are missing from our 9-to-5 routines.

 

Why We Dream: The Benefits of a Healthy Fantasy Life

Exploring these mental landscapes can actually be a sign of a healthy, creative mind. Here’s why:

1. Stress Reduction: Like a good movie, a fantasy allows the brain to "reset" and escape mundane stressors.

2. Self-Discovery: Understanding what sparks your interest can help you communicate your boundaries and needs more clearly.

3. Safe Exploration: The mind is a sandbox where you can test-drive feelings and scenarios without real-world consequences.

The Bottom Line

Fantasies are a natural part of the human experience. They are the stories we tell ourselves to explore the complexities of intimacy and the vastness of our own imaginations. By understanding the why behind the what, we can appreciate our desires as fascinating windows into the human soul.

Makeup is a not XXI century issue.

Mankind has always sought to excel in different areas of science, economics, medicine. Always looking to improve their social, economic and political status. But there is one area that is not spoken of. How the personal image of women  played an important role in society so that they could excel from the rest.

The research and studies about makeup (cosmetics) show that they have been around since the ancient Egypt.  Apparently everything began with the discovery of scented oils. The realized (or believed) that this scented oils had healing characteristics. Not only they were used for medicinal purposes but they used them for their religious rituals, the same happened with herbs, the not only consume them but they use them to apply the paint . Women and men started to apply to their face and bodies some kind of clay in different colors. This proof was found in Egyptian tombs and we also have the old drawings that show how they decorated themselves with the colors and shapes.

The Greek,Asian, Romans and Arabic cultures followed the medicinal/beauty rituals. During the 18th-Century pale skin was fashionable, even men used it! This white makeup was called Venetian Ceruse, it was made famous by Queen Elizabeth I. The upper class painted their face, neck and chest until it was completely pale, like porcelain. The Venetian Ceruse powder was mixed with vinegar which created a milky white powder. While today lead is considered a very lethal toxin, back in the 18th century the dangers of lead were very often overlooked.

During Queen Victoria’s mourning period, she declared that painted faces were vulgar. That a minimalist look (clothing and makeup) had to be the new rule. The Industrial Revolution made the mass production of cosmetics possible although many people continued to make cosmetics at home. However in the 19th century some people disapproved of women wearing makeup and it was often sold under the counter. The film director D.W. Griffith invented false eyelashes in 1916. Women have dyed their nails for centuries but modern nail varnish was invented in 1917. The French manicure was invented in 1975. Meanwhile modern lip gloss was invented in 1930 and went on sale in 1932.

Between the World Wars, women turned to beauty products, encouraged by flawless models featured in luxury fashion magazines.  In the 1950s and 60s television brought advertisements for cosmetics and hair products to people’s homes. Today, the products supplied by the cosmetics industry , from soap and bath oil to toothpaste and shaving foam play an important role in our daily personal hygiene routine.

Mascara from brand leaders such as Maybelline was an imperative cosmetic to have in your handbag. Though it wasn’t until the 1960s that women applied it again to lower lashes again ( like in 1920’s ). Loads of newly patented cosmetic tools like eyelash curlers and eyebrow stencils helped young women achieve the look of whatever starlet took their fancy.

Nowadays, women use makeup as they please. There is obviously beauty standards made by the cosmetics corporation and trends according to the seasons but it became a form of creativity. Some women want to look as natural as they can, some use vintage makeup style and others try to create trends.The question now is: 

• Why do women wear makeup? Is it because we want to look better or we want to be a different person? 

• Our makeup has become a mask to hide more than spots and freckles?

What's your style? 

www.localhistories.org

www.cosmeticseurope.eu

That strange thing called chivalry. Pt.1

To my readers: There is so much info and opinions about chivalry to be read. I wanted to writte something with my own definitions and hopefully people will take my opinion and share them with the world.

chiv·al·ry

: the system of values (such as loyalty and honor) that knights in the Middle Ages were expected to follow

: an honorable and polite way of behaving especially toward women

plural chiv·al·ries

Source: www.merriam-webster.com

-Men who are chivalrous nowadays are a rare breed 

There are clearly many women and men who do not know the real meaning of chivalry.

I believe that chivalry is being  good, honest, caring, just noble in general. Someone who possesses qualities that a healthy society should look up to and respect. In the digital era not only chivalry should be revived and be taught to the new generation but women also should be chivalrous.

Some women want chivalry to die, yes ...you read it. This delusional women thinks that chivalry equals to stepping on women's rights. 

There is a big difference between being female and being a feminist. Feminist (real ones) have fought and are still fighting for women, so we can have equal rights as men, NOT fighting against men. The first feminist women wanted to be heard and to have a voice, to take decisions in their homes and outside them like: equal employment opportunity, equal pay, the right to vote and to be involved in politics, etc. We are still fighting today for some of the same things.

-A woman can be chivalrous too

So, men are always complaining about the -equality- issue. They claim that if women are the same and can do everything that men can, why should they be treated differently?

I repeat, women want to have an equal treat as men have in society when it comes to earning as much as them, having the same job opportunities and the right to be heard and be taken seriously. 

The fact that I work, that I am independent, and that I can take care of myself doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be treated like a lady, which means with respect, kindness and courtesy. Please remember, this are two different concepts that shouldn't mix. Just because I think that we are as valuable as men are, does not mean I wan't to be treated like a guy... I mean don't treat me like I am your male friend or drinking buddy ...you get my point . 

This misunderstanding is generally used by many as an excuse for bad manners or lack of them. I am a feminist and a woman, I am a person that deserves to be treated with respect and who will appreciate a gentleman's kindness. The difference is that in the XXI century, the act of chivalry should be reciprocal between men and women.

You may be asking yourself, how can a woman be chivalrous ?

A chivalrous woman is polite, respectful, proper and kind; not only to her love interest but to everyone else. I don't picture a woman doing the same things a man would do on a date (picking us up before a date, opening the car door, helping us with our coat) but a chivalrous woman would pay attention to her date, she would be polite when asking for things, and she would be grateful for the thoughtfulness and care that her male companion put into a date.

In reality any decent and good human being would do all of these things regardless if it's a woman or a man. It can and it should go both ways. This is how you can differentiate a Gentleman or a Lady from common people.

To read more about gentlemen click here

-"Hooking up"

This is basically casual sexual encounters. But -casual encounters- equals to: no commitment, no tolerance to rejection, players, lack of balls, Etc. People saying yes to hookups plays a big part of why men stopped being chivalrous, they don't need it !!! There are women that lowered their standards and don't see chivalry as a must on the opposite sex. What do women expect from a guy who is not a GENTLEMAN?

The growth of this way of thinking is due to the fact that every day less and less women and men are taking chances to find a suitable partner or spouse. People are getting used to the informal chats and the ambiguity in men invitations. 

For example when a guy text me:  "Let's do something this week: and then he ends up his message with "I'll let you know soon" It's just a turn off. If you want to invite me it's because you have a date and something planned. Sorry but I'm not the kind of person who will wait for the follow up message to your -invitation-. It's a whole different thing when you get an actual phone call saying "Hey, Let’s do this____ this day__at this time___. See you then" That is an actual thoughtful plan, and makes one feel appreciated.

Not only men are the ones who fall into this mistake every time but women do too when they find short and uncertain text message as acceptable.

The way a guy ask me out or the way he even starts a conversation with me tells me a lot about his personality. So if the first words that comes out of a guy’s mouth is "Hey, do you want to hook up?" I just say no and turn around. I don't want to judge guys and girls who actually say -Yes- to such question ...but they don't realize they are going to a stranger's house and drinking the alcohol this stranger is giving them. There are horror movies that start like this for a reason. But it's your choice, you are a mature person.

Men have become so insecure that they don't want to risk their egos, so the fastest and painless option for them is asking girls to "hook up". Men and women should be able to get over from a negative answer and keep trying. This generation of teens and young people are getting used to avoid difficult situations and not dealing with feelings. This new generation wants to have 24/7 options on Tinder and other online dating apps because for some reason they feel they are missing out on something or someone. 

-What happened with finding someone you liked and asking her/him on a date? 

-What happened to guys opening doors, pushing chairs, picking you up for a date and taking us back home?

-What happened to polite guys who can talk to you without bringing up sex in a conversation?

-What happened to holding out your arm for us?

And finally: 

What's the worst thing that could happen on a date? The worst thing would be that you won't have a second date. That you spent money on a nice dinner with a girl you like. Had a good conversation and a good time. That's the worst.

Click to read: A fake gentleman's dissection (Pt. 2 of: That strange thing called chivalry.)

Part 2 of this: HERE